ANDROGYNY

   From the time I was old enough to read, I was always the main character in the story. If it was the Prince pursuing the Damsel in distress or the Princes in search of a Prince, I could experience a sexual desire for the individual of the opposite sex. Of course at the time, I didn’t know what that meant. As I grew older and became more aware of my sexuality, I began to wonder if everyone could be sexually attracted to both a male and female without a differentiation.

   I grew up in a small town within a conservative family. Everyone was expected to behave within the confines of their label. I was born a female; therefore, I was expected to behave within the definition of that brand.

   Then one day when I was a senior in high school, I read an interview with a beautiful and talented screen actress. The interviewer explored her sexual preferences. The actress stated in an answer to the interviewer’s question: “Of course, (I’m bisexual),” she said. “If I fell in love with a woman tomorrow, would I feel that it’s okay to want to kiss and touch her? When I fell in love with her? Absolutely! Yes!”

The actress comment put the feelings I had been experiencing my whole life into a perspective. I knew at that moment what I had been feeling was not unusual or out of the ordinary. I fell into a category that is commonly referred to as ‘bisexual’.

   After graduating from high school, I entered the local community college. It was during that time that I discovered what I intended to do professionally for the rest of my life. I took a course in ‘Introduction to the Theater’. All of the students were required to audition for the semester play. My first experience on stage was in the production of ‘The Matchmaker’ by Thornton Wilder. I was cast as ‘Minnie Fay’, a young girl who was looking for adventure and love. Looking back on those days that character was me.

   ‘Minnie Fay’ was a sidekick to the ingénue, ‘Ermengarde’ who was played by a beautiful young woman by the name of Claire Walker. When I began to have feelings for her, I couldn’t completely understand why?  I thought that maybe it was her acting talent. I wanted to be near her, to touch her. I used every bit of discretion I could muster to restrain myself when I would be in proximity to her. I didn’t want it to appear that I invading her space, so to speak.

   About the same time, I had similar feelings for the young man in the production playing ‘Barnaby Tucker’. His name was Anthony Lewis. The two of us had an instant chemistry when we met at the auditions. As the rehearsals progressed, I began to look upon Claire as someone I wanted to kiss and touch. I was experiencing similar feelings for Anthony.  Once again, I became very frustrated and confused.

   Before I get too far into my story, I want to point out that as of this writing; I have a very successful career in the theater and film. I’ve always been very careful protecting my personal life. I’ve never had any controversies or adverse publicity. I don’t want to start it here. Therefore, from this time and throughout the writing of this erotic memoir, I have changed the names of all the characters that appear throughout this novel. The play that is mentioned later in the memoir was not the title of the work that began my professional career. Because my life revolves around my career and sexuality, I will refer to myself as ‘Androgyny’.

   Now back to the story.